Letter to Jilian

December 21, 2008

Dear Jilian Cate Rogers,

As I sit here today, waiting for another very special little girl to come into this world, (Ava Jade is her name, and she will be one of your best friends one day. Amanda, one of your mommy’s dearest friends, is having a baby today!) I think about you…

I cannot believe that in just one more month, you will be resting in my arms, waking me at night when you are hungry, eventually chasing your brothers around, and taking charge in typical girl fashion!
I have to be honest with you, Jilian – I have wanted to be a mom to boys ever since I can remember. Perhaps it was because growing up, I only had one sister. Perhaps it was because out of 15 cousins, only 2 of them were boys, and the rest of us were girls. Perhaps it was because my mother was (still is!) such a girly-girl, that I knew nothing else. Who knows why, but I have always wanted to have boys.

As you will soon find out, I was blessed with 2 lovely boys…
Your oldest brother, Jaydon Cole, who is now 6 years old…he is such an intelligent boy. He soaks up knowledge like a sponge, and is one of the smartest 6 year olds that you will ever meet. Jaydon is going to shock us all one day with an invention, or something of the like. He is a wonderful big brother, and I know you will look up to him one day.
Then there is your other big brother, Jacoby Cade. Jacoby is 11 months old, and starting to walk. He is the polar opposite of Jaydon in every regard. You & Jacoby will be sharing a room soon. I have a feeling that the two of you are going to have me going insane – but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Then there will be you…Jilian Cate. Did you notice that all 3 of you will have the same initials – “JCR”? We didn’t want any of you to feel left out. We wanted to make sure that if anything, those initials would give the 3 of you a special bond for life.
I cannot wait to see what you look like, smell your sweet baby breath, feel that baby soft skin, and see if you have the same nose as your daddy – just like your brothers do. :)

Jilian, it took me a long time to accept the fact that I was having a girl. I know…your mommy is different. Every other woman that I know wants/wanted a little girl. I think that God made you my 3rd child because He knew that I needed time to accept a little girl. God works in mysterious ways because he has given me enough time now. I know that my 3rd and final child will be a girl for a reason…
You see, they say that little boys love their mommy’s, and little girl’s love their daddy’s. What happens when you aren’t little anymore? Those little boys will soon have things in common with their daddy’s that their mommy’s will never understand. Where does that leave me? WITH YOU! :)
Once those little boys are too big to share things with their mommy, I will have you to share things with. I will have you to tell me if my outfit doesn’t look right, or if my hair makes me look old. …and you will have ME to do the same things for you. We can play make-believe with big poofy dresses, jump on the trampoline at night and try to touch the stars, comb each other’s hair, have tea parties, paint each other’s toe nails, (I promise to wash my feet first!) and I will even show you how to play baseball. This way, you won’t have those boys telling you that “you throw like a girl”!
Then when you are grown, you will have me to lean on when that mean boy next door breaks up with you for the ugly girl, or when you need some uplifting because you got your first pimple, or when you just want someone to talk to. ...and Jilian, if one day you just want to sit in silence and drink hot chocolate, (your mom doesn't like coffee) that's just fine, too. :)

I hope Jilian that you soon realize how special you are to me. I hope that I can raise you to be an outstanding citizen, a compassionate soul, an avid reader, a girly-girl at times, but a tom-boy when necessary, and a loving child.
I hope that you & I can both teach each other things that we would have never learned about without one another.

Jilian, I cannot wait until you are here. I know 3 other boys who feel the same way. You will never have to worry about anything, because you will always have 2 big brothers to protect you, and a mommy & daddy to love you with all of their hearts.

Thank you for helping me realize that God does things for a reason!

Love,
Your Mommy