J-5 Rogers Family

4.18.2009

Wal-Mart Rampage

Going to Wal-Mart on a Friday night is like sitting on 820 during rush hour, a$$ backwards in a car with leather, and no A/C in the middle of August with 3 screaming children!

Holy.Lord.Jesus! Have y'all ever been on a Friday night? Probably not, because I'm the only loser with no life.

It was floor-to-ceiling boxes, boxes, boxes, and then the occasional stalker boy or girl. I cannot imagine shelving all of the things that I saw tonight. Unreal, and insane to the membrane!

Then to top it off, Mrs. "Employee of the Month" (not!) at the check-out was totally PMSing. I get up there expecting to be greeted, and she just starts scanning groceries. Usually, I'm better than that, but tonight was not my night for idiots. I wasn't going to be the nice one. I'M not getting paid to do customer service!

So I try to push the button that says NO while saying out loud, "God, why doesn't the NO button work on this thing where it asks me if my cashier greeted me?" YES - I REALLY did say that out loud!

...which only lead to one thing. My groceries getting chunked into bags! Ahh - the maturity of a teenage cashier at 11:30 PM on a Friday night.
Honey, welcome to the real world of working. YOU picked your job, so live with it! Mr. Walton may have me excited about his little girls clothing, but obviously he isn't doing it for ya on the salary huh?

After a few more groceries got thrown, I asked her to PLEASE be careful with the baby food. She obliged - after the 360ยบ eye roll and neck contortion act.

I put my $3 Enfamil coupon on the space to the left of the credit card keypad - where I ALWAYS put my coupons - and she didn't scan that, or the two others that I had. NOT because she was being pissy, but because she was busy turning around to talk to the other eye roller at register 11. Are ya kidding me? You are going to ask register 11 why she didn't call Trevan back while I'm standing there in front of you? ...and register 11 is GOING TO ANSWER!?! As the West girls would say - OY VEY!!!

Oh, you think that's it? Nope, sit back down! It just gets better from here...

I have everything loaded up into my cart and I'm headed out the door when who should stop me? The 4ft. tall receipt Nazi. I look up to make sure that I'm not at Sam's Club, and when I realize I'm still at Wal-Mart, I say, "When did y'all start checking receipts?" (Mind you I just spent $200+ here and my groceries are all bagged up and you can't see ANY of them.) She says, "Mam, your receipt." Aye, Aye Captain. I didn't mean to get you off track by asking you a question.
I tell her that I don't know which bag I stuck it in, thinking she'll let me go. Nope, the 48 inches of non-rule breaking, 60-year old chain smoking XX chromosomes just stands there looking at me. Y'all - I'm only 5'3'' and I felt like a monster over her. I wanted to stomp a mud hole in her...you get the picture.

I thought...If I ran, what are the chances of her catching me? Then I thought about my pretty little SUV outside and the thought of my hand prints on my clean car as I'm getting handcuffed just didn't appeal. Priorities here folks!

So I start digging through my bags while "Judge Judy With A Vengeance" watches.
I mean really - do ya think I just bagged 100 items and stuck them in a cart and walked out without anybody seeing me? I'm not part of The Incredibles!

At this point, 3 other customers have walked out. One customer didn't even have his 3 items in a bag. I ask her why they aren't getting checked, and she doesn't answer. Once again, my apologies for speaking.

I finally find the receipt and hand it to her. (Note to self - receipt in your purse next time!)
Do you know what Judge Judy, the 48-inches of Receipt Nazi does? She stares at it. She looks up and down, and up and down again. PLEASE tell me what you are looking for when you can't even see my groceries!?!? (I learned my lesson the first two times - I didn't ask.)
Then she hands it back to me and says, "Have a good night." (...at which point about 16 other customers had already walked out!)

So much for consistency there, Wal-Mart!

OY VEY!
Where is Charlie when you need him?

9 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

That sounds like walmart. And because I am in retail I am going to say because this behavior from the Wally world staff is unexceptable call the store manager. Make sure you have the receipt they will be able to identify the cashier. I know you don't want to get anyone in trouble but sometimes managers are not told these things so they can't correct the problem. If I was a store manager of retail chain I would want to know everything. Have a nice weekend. Off to get ready for the wedding. :)

April 18, 2009 at 7:54 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Fyi: the comment left at 7:54am was the Orange box queen. LOL :) J

April 18, 2009 at 7:55 AM  
Anonymous Healthy Distrust said...

Good news: You don't have to show your receipt, and you can leave the store without worrying about being chased or arrested.

In order to comply with state law, receipt and bag checks must be voluntary. Greeters or security guards can ask for your receipt or ask to inspect your purchases, and you can politely refuse and continue out those sliding glass doors. Just say "No, thanks" and keep walking. It works.

(More info on law: http://www.crimedoctor.com/loss_prevention_3.htm )

Stores can only legally detain a shopper when they can meet the legal burden of "probable cause" to prove that the shopper has stolen, and that requires some evidence of theft, not mere suspicion. It's not store policy that all customers must show their receipts, and even if it was, that policy would be illegal and unenforceable because state law supercedes it.

Not only is the greeter not allowed to block the exit or otherwise prevent you from leaving, but she could be charged with false imprisonment or even kidnapping for doing so.

How sad that you, an honest customer, would fret about being chased and handcuffed for doing nothing wrong! If you didn't steal, you have nothing to fear. In fact, if the receipt Nazis try to stop you from leaving when you refuse to let them search you, you should call the police yourself. You're being illegally detained!

April 18, 2009 at 12:52 PM  
Blogger Rae Carol said...

Ok, that was hilarous!!! I HATE Wal-Mart!!! Someone has to really need some shampoo to get me there!!! Uggg....Your so funny!!!

April 18, 2009 at 2:11 PM  
Blogger JESSICA said...

Who is Healthy Distrust? Help me out here - can I have a name? :)

April 18, 2009 at 8:50 PM  
Blogger Andi said...

LMAO! Well, at least in hindsight, it was a funny story! Sorry it was such an unpleasant experience! It seems like I always pick the night to go to Wal-Mart when they have boxes everywhere to stock. I'm thinking ours in Saginaw must re-stock every other day!

April 19, 2009 at 12:30 AM  
Anonymous Tia said...

I though they only checked when you had electronics. P.S. I go to Wal-Mart on Fridays all the time, best time to shop!

April 19, 2009 at 4:56 PM  
Blogger The York Family Blog said...

LOL! I have been on a Friday..and any other day of the week. Any day sucks! I attempt to make it a Monday or a Tuesday evening. Sometimes it's a hit..sometimes..not so much. No idea who that comment was from. But I seem to remember hearing that before.

April 19, 2009 at 9:04 PM  
Blogger Sandra said...

Sorry to hear about your wal-mart experience. What a pain in the @ss! I never expect any customer service when I'm at that store-Ever. However, when I shop in Weatherford (during my lunch hour) they have the nicest cashiers. I've never had any problems. It must be because it's a small town.

PS I love the picture you emailed of Jilian. I gotta say, I think she looks very cute without the big bows to distract from her beautiful face (running and ducking).

April 19, 2009 at 10:31 PM  

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